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 Independent writing: Topic #1

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Bài gửiTiêu đề: Independent writing: Topic #1   Independent writing: Topic #1 Icon_minitimeThu Aug 13, 2009 12:32 am

The first topic of us is:

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?
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Bài gửiTiêu đề: Re: Independent writing: Topic #1   Independent writing: Topic #1 Icon_minitimeThu Aug 13, 2009 12:36 am

Trích dẫn :
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?
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Please check the writing of other members. You can learn from other members 's essays, for example the way he used words, sentences, structures....You also avoid his mistakes in your writing. It is very helpful for you to get higher score on TOEFL test.


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Bài gửiTiêu đề: Re: Independent writing: Topic #1   Independent writing: Topic #1 Icon_minitimeThu Aug 13, 2009 5:42 pm

This is my essay. Everyone makes comments for me.Thanks a lot!
Topic :
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?

Essay :
Nowadays, accompany with the rapid development of technology, people have to study everyday in order to adapt with the development. Therefore, some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies; but, others believe that young children should spend most of their time in playing. As far as I know, I think that people should start their studies at school as soon as possible because of several following reasons.
First, the most important thing I think is that studying early at school lays our sound basis for children’s studies and working in the future. Clearly, schools are opened to provide basic knowledge and train necessary skills for us; so, all lectures in schools that are written elaborately help children to understand easily. Furthermore, when children at early age have many difficulties in self-educated studying, teachers in schools with good teaching skills and profound understanding will lecture them and assist them to solve many problems. Obviously, studying early at school is the best choice for children.
Secondly, I believe that children can expand their relationship and live independent early when studying at school. At school, children usually study and play together; consequently, they easily make friends with others. As a result, they have much more friends than the other children that don’t go to schools. On the other hand, when children study at school, they have to work without their parent’s help; so, they gradually take their independent behaviors. Therefore, studying at school is the rapid method for children to adapt their living environment.
In opposite view, many parents claim that children should spend most of their time in playing because they think that children with the immature mental functions should live free. Studying at very early age can affect children’s growth badly. Some research magazines also show that playing games at early age help children grow up their brains. Thus, many parents don’t agree with studying at very early age.
In conclusion, although there are many different opinions in studying at very early age, I always think that children should begin their formal education at very early age because children can learn much more knowledge in school and in their living environment.
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