Indepent topic : It is more important to work at a job that you enjoy than it is to earn a lot of money

Writing essay
Topic:
It is more important to work at a job that you enjoy than it is to earn a lot of money

Outline:
Opinion: Total agree with the statement
Reason 1: You have to do your job for a long time
- Will feel boring
- Easy to make a mistake in your work
- Example (software engineer, teacher, …. )
Reason 2: Enjoying your job will help you to earn more money
- Be master in your job.
- Work efficiently
Reason 3: Money doesn’t bring the true happiness for you
- Happiness is simple when you find or solve your problem in your work.
Conclusion

My essay

It is easy for us if we have a job which we like and have a high salary. But in life, it is not always available. For me, being a fresh engineer, I believe that working at a job which is interesting for me more important than the number of money I could earn from the job.

First of all, we have to work not for a day, but for a year. Sometime, we do our jobs for the rest of lives. Doing unpleasant work will make us feel boring. As a result, we are easy to make some mistakes in work. Being a hardware programmer, it is really a serious problem if I do not focus on my work. I usually write many thousand line each program. Obviously, the job is very boring and tiring to people who do not feel it exciting. Thus, with them, it is easy to give up the job. In contrast, with my love for it, I work with all my efforts. And it never makes me tired.

Secondly, it is difficult to believe that enjoying our job will help us to earn more money, but many cases prove that it is true. When the job is really interesting for us, we can do it all the time and all the effort we have. This makes us faster to be a master in our job. As a result, we work more efficiently, and create more productions. At that time, we can recommend boss increase our salary.

Thirdly, a high salary is only meaningful if we are satisfied our jobs. Working in uncomfortable environment make us stress easily. Imaging that we earn very much money, but it is really boring and dull work. What is happen if our colleagues do not want to cooperate? This is awful. Happiness is never based on the money which you earn. It is sometime a simple thing when our colleagues appreciate our work.


Wage is one of the sides when I choice a job. However, it is never the most important aspect when I decide to work one job and give up others. In my belief, working a job which we are willing will bring us many benefits, especially the happiness in our job.

As usual, your ideas are clear and your essay are organized well, but there 're some mistakes. You should check the bold words.

Trích dẫn :

It is easy for us if we have a job which we like and have a high salary (what do you mean??). But in life, it is not always available. For me, being a fresh engineer, I believe that working at a job which is interesting for me more important than the number of money I could earn from the job.

First of all, we have to work not for a day(days), but for a year(years). Sometime, we do our jobs for the rest of lives (??). Doing unpleasant work will make us feel boring. As a result, we are easy to make some mistakes in work. Being a hardware programmer, it is really a serious problem if I do not focus on my work. I usually write many thousand line each program. Obviously, the job is very boring and tiring to people who do not feel it exciting. Thus, with them, it is easy to give up the job. In contrast, with my love for it, I work with all my efforts. And it never makes me tired.

Secondly, it is difficult to believe that enjoying our job will help us to earn more money, but many cases prove that it is true. When the job is really interesting for us, we can do it all the time and all the effort we have. This makes us faster to be a master in our job. As a result, we work more efficiently, and create more productions. At that time, we can recommend boss increase our salary.

Thirdly, a high salary is only meaningful if we are satisfied our jobs. Working in uncomfortable environment make us stress easily. Imaging that we earn very much money, but it is really boring and dull work. What is happen if our colleagues do not want to cooperate? This is awful. Happiness is never based on the money which you earn. It is sometime a simple thing when our colleagues appreciate our work.


Wage is one of the sides when I choice a job. However, it is never the most important aspect when I decide to work one job and give up others. In my belief, working a job which we are willing will bring us many benefits, especially the happiness in our job.

Thank you for your comments. I highly appreciate it.
But would you like to to correct my errors when you highlight it? Sometimes, I confuse some highlight words which you suppose that those are error.

Thank you again !

My comments:

You have some grammar errors

It is easy for us if we have a job which we like and have a high salary (I do not understand). But in life, it is not always available. For me, being a fresh engineer, I believe that working at a job which is interesting for me more important than the number of money I could earn from the job.
=> I believe that doing a job , which is interesting to me, is more important than the number of money I could earn from the job ( this seems more simple: I believe that an interesting job is more important than the amount of money earning from the job.)


First of all, we have to work not for a day, but for a year. Sometime, we do our jobs for the rest of lives (our lives). Doing unpleasant work will make us feel boring. As a result, we are easy to make some mistakes in work. Being a hardware programmer, it is really a serious problem if I do not focus on my work. I usually write many thousand line --> lines in each program. Obviously, the job is very boring and tiring to people who do not feel it exciting. Thus, with them --> to them, it is easy to give up the job. In contrast, with my love for it, I work with all --> all of my efforts. And it never makes me tired.

Secondly, it is difficult to believe that enjoying our job will help us to earn more money, but many cases prove that it is true. When the job is really interesting for --> to us, we can do it all the time and all the effort we have. This makes us faster to be a master in our job. As a result, we work more efficiently, and create more productions. At that time, we can recommend --> suggest seems more suitable boss increase our salary.

Thirdly, a high salary is only meaningful if we are satisfied our jobs.--> satisfy with sth Working in an uncomfortable environment make us stress easily. Imaging that we earn very much money, but it is really boring and dull work. What is happen if --> what will happen if our colleagues do not want to cooperate? This is awful. Happiness is never based on the money which you earn. It is sometime a simple thing when our colleagues appreciate our work.


Wage --> the amount of wage is one of the sides --> criteria seems better) when I choice a job. However, it is never the most important aspect when I decide to work one job and give up others. In my belief, working a job ( working at a job/ doing a job) which we are willing will bring us many benefits, especially the happiness in our job.[i]