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ledanghieu



Tổng số bài gửi : 6
Join date : 30/09/2009

Bài gửiTiêu đề: independent topic.   Thu Oct 01, 2009 9:44 pm

Topic: Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of student. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Outline:
Intro: I think study with group of student is more effectly
Body:
Paragraph 1: When we study in a group we can exchange the knowledge and viewpoint together.
- We can knowledge an event by multifaceted
- We can share it to each member to discuss.
- Each member raises their viewpoint about this problem.
Paragraph 2: Study in a group can create a study atmosphere
- each member must have responsibility to their team.
- study in a group can create a competition in each member.
Paragraph 3: When we study in a group we can help together to improve.
- Each member can learn these other knowledge and skill.
- We can share the experience to solve a problem.

Conclusion: Study in a group has a lot of benefit to each member


Student life is an important period in our life. We can develop a lot of skill in this time, specially our knowledge. Each student has a specific method to study. But I thing study in a group is most effect.
The firstly, when we study in a group we can exchange the knowledge and viewpoint together. Therefore we can knowledge an event by multifaceted. When we face a difficult problem, we can share it to each member to discuss. Each member raises their viewpoint about this problem. So the difficult problem can be solved easily.
Secondly, study in a group can create a study atmosphere. When we set up a team to study, each member must have responsibility to their team. They will try to complete their work. It is very important skill when we work in team. On the other hand, study in a group can create a competition in each member. Every one doesn’t want to be a weak member in a group. So they will compete to be good member.
The final, when we study in a group we can help together to improve. Each member can learn these other knowledge and skill. Because, in a group we can exchange our viewpoint more and more easier. We can share the experience to solve a problem. So each member can improve themselves.
Summary, study in a group has a lot of benefit to each member. Our forefather said that: “learn from partner is better than from teacher”. It is a experience our forefather sum up from thousand year.
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thuhientran88



Tổng số bài gửi : 23
Join date : 27/09/2009

Bài gửiTiêu đề: Re: independent topic.   Fri Oct 02, 2009 12:30 am

My comments:
1st: about the ideas, I feel confuse between the 1st and the 3rd idea: i think exchange the knowledge and viewpoint are the ways we help each other improve Very Happy
2nd: you have rather serious mistakes in grammar and the usage of words.

topic: Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of student--> students. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Outline:
Intro: I think study with group of student is more effectly --. effectively
Body:
Paragraph 1: When we study in a group we can exchange the knowledge and viewpoint together.
- We can knowledge --> gain knowledge ( knowledge is a noun) about an event by multifaceted ( do not understand, but multifaceted is an adj so we can not write like that)
- We can share it to each member to discuss.
- Each member raises their viewpoint about this problem.
Paragraph 2: Study in a group can create a study atmosphere
- each member must have responsibility to their team.
- study in a group can create a competition in each member. --> among members
Paragraph 3: When we study in a group we can help together to improve.
- Each member can learn these other knowledge from others' knowledge and skills.
- We can share the experience to solve a problem.

Conclusion: Study in a group has a lot of benefit to each member


Student life --> student time ( to avoid repeating "life") is an important period in our life. We can develop a lot of skill --> a lot of skills in this time, specially our knowledge. Each student has a specific method to study. But I thing -> think study=>studying in a group is most effect. => the most effective
The firstly,--> the first point is/ firstly, when we study in a group we can exchange the knowledge and viewpoint together. Therefore we can knowledge an event by multifaceted. When we face a difficult problem, we can share it to each member --> each other/ share it together to discuss. Each member raises their viewpoint about this problem. So the difficult problem can be solved easily. -> easily solved (more common)
Secondly, studying in a group can create a study atmosphere. When we set up a team to study, each member must have responsibility to their team. They will try to complete their work. It is very important skill --> a very important skill when we work in team. On the other hand, study in a group can create a competition in each member. Every one doesn’t want to be a weak member in a group. So they will compete to be --> become good member.
The final, --> finally, when we study in a group we can help together to improve. Each member can learn these other knowledge --> the others' knowledge and skills. Because, in a group we can exchange our viewpoint more and more easier - easier/ much easier. We can share the experience to solve a problem. So each member can improve themselves.
Summary, --> in summary, in conclusion, study in a group has a lot of benefit to each member. Our forefather said that: “learn from partner is better than from teacher”. It is a experience --> an experience our forefather sum up from thousand year.

Very Happy, In my opinion, you should try to identify the usage of word before put it in to essay. I mean, you have to identify if it is a noun or verb or adj...first. There are some more problems but I just concentrate on the mistakes about the usage of words.
Tired day!
Nice Mid-Autumn!
Very Happy
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ledanghieu



Tổng số bài gửi : 6
Join date : 30/09/2009

Bài gửiTiêu đề: Re: independent topic.   Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:48 am

Thank you for your comments. I will try to learn more about grammar.
Nice Mid-Autumn^^!
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