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 Independent writing #39: Students lean more with technology support

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nguyenducphuong



Tổng số bài gửi : 20
Join date : 13/08/2009

Bài gửiTiêu đề: Independent writing #39: Students lean more with technology support   Tue Sep 29, 2009 12:09 am

Do you agree or disagree wth the following statement?
With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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Outline:

Thesis: With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly

Paragraph 1: Main idea: Students can learn many subjects by themselves using internet
Supporting details: (1) There are online courses
(2) Find books, tutorial on the web
Paragraph 2: Main idea: Students find information easier
Supporting details: (1) Internet is a big library
(2) Update information easier
Paragraph 3: Main idea: Students learn more quickly with computer support
Supporting details: (1) Learn quickly by using simulation programs
(2) Learn foreign language using computer is easier
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Recent advances in computer and networking technology have changed our lives. Their effect is not only on the way we work but also on the way we study. With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly than they did in the past.

Firstly, students can learn many subjects by themselves using internet. In the past, students had to go to school to learn specific courses. Nowadays, they can easily take an online courses of any subjects using a computer has an internet connection. They can also easily find some support documents such as ebooks and tutorials on the world wide web.

Secondly, students can find information easier with the help of internet. The internet has rapidly developed in recent years. It brings up a shared environment where students can easily access and learn information from all over the world. Students can update newest information such as newest technology, events in the world.

Furthermore, with computer supports, students learn more quickly than they did in the past. Many computer programs have developed to help students easily understand problems and practice them. Using such those programs has much benifit, for example, learning foreign language with computer supports is easier than without them.

In conclusion, with the advances of technology, especially in computer and networking, students have more opportunities to easily and quickly learn a wide range of knowlege.
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matchia



Tổng số bài gửi : 11
Join date : 27/08/2009

Bài gửiTiêu đề: Re: Independent writing #39: Students lean more with technology support   Tue Sep 29, 2009 5:43 am

I have some comment in your essay.
This essay is quite good. But in my opinion, it still has grammartical errors.
The big mistake in your essay is adverb and you should review it, especially the order of adverb in sentences
The formal structural is : S + V + adv. Althought it has some exeption but we should use common structure

[/quote]

Recent advances in computer and networking technology have changed our lives. Their effect is not only on the way we work but also on the way we study (Their effect is on the way not only we work but also we study). With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and (learn it) more quickly than they did in the past.

Firstly, students can learn many subjects by themselves (by) using internet. In the past, students had to go to school to learn specific courses. Nowadays, they can take an online courses of any subjects ( more easily by ) using a computer (which)has an internet connection. They can also find some support documents (easily) such as ebooks and tutorials on the world wide web.

Secondly, students can find information (easier - more easily) with the help of internet. The internet has developed (rappily) in recent years. It brings up a shared environment where students can access easily and learn information from all over the world. Students can update (the) newest information such as (the) newest technology, events in the world.

Furthermore, with computer supports, students learn more quickly than they did in the past. Many computer programs have developed to help students easily (to) understand problems and practice them. Using such those programs has much benifit, for example, learning foreign language with computer supports is easier than without them.

In conclusion, with the advances of technology, especially in computer and networking, students have more opportunities to easily and quickly learn a wide range of knowlege.
[quote][b]
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